“I’d rather be hated for who I am ,than loved for who I am not.”
Nirvana’s frontman, Kurt Donald Cobain born 20th February 1967 in Aberdeen, Washington, was one of the most inspirational men to have ever lived on this earth. Not only did he have a talent for music, he had a talent for creating the biggest sense of empathy for all of the angst-ridden teenagers of the late 80’s/ early 90’s. Cobain inspired thousands of teens to not let anything hold them back and to follow their dreams not matter what. Kurt showed people that after his rough childhood, he was able to use the pain to build the foundations of the scene known as ‘grunge’. Grunge may be fuzzy guitars and an uncoordinated fashion sense but so many people finally felt a part of something in which they could escape their troubles and fit in.
Kurt suffered from his parents divorce when he was 9. Divorce back then was very uncommon so Kurt felt really embarrassed because of this. He wanted the happy family with the mum, the dad and the kids who would stay together as a unit for the rest of his life. Of course, the divorce meant that Kurt’s fantasy was crushed and taken away from him. He had a tough relationship with both of his parents due to a high level of resentment and he spent his teen years being sent back and forth around pretty much all of his extended family and on some occasions, his friends sofa’s when he had no where else to stay.
I know that divorce is more common now, but when I was 10 the same thing happened to me. It was still quite taboo when it happened to my family so I personally really struggled to come to terms with it. Cobain struggled and never got a long with his stepmother and her children, he referred to it as the “typical wicked stepmom scenario”. I was very much in the same situation as him until I stopped going to my dad’s house when it all became too much. This is just one of the many factors as to why Kurt has meant so much to me because although he may be dead, I still felt a sense of empathy from him through the songs he left behind.
Many people have questioned me on my obsession with Kurt but I never fully explained why I felt so strongly towards him. Divorce really does affect everyone in the family but for the last 4/5 years things couldn’t have been better! Back in 2013/14, when my stepdad handed me his Nirvana albums was when I finally found my way out of the constant battle with myself as I finally realised that I wasn’t alone. Kurt Cobain’s lyrics along with Krist Novoselic’s bass and Dave Grohl’s drumming were the things that helped to personally liberate me. Not only was I motivated to keep going, I was inspired to dress how I wanted to and be the strong person that I am today.
Kurt Cobain sadly had a heroin addicted in which he endured until he died because of his incurable stomach pain. He had something seriously wrong inside his stomach in which the only way to make the pain fade was to self-medicate with heroin. Doctors simply couldn’t find anything to cure him. Considering he had a fear of needles, the pain must have been bad enough. Kurt sadly committed suicide at age 27 on the 5th of April 1994 after his battle with depression and the negative connotations that fame gave him. Thousands of people were shocked, upset and distraught so they all gathered and held a memorial for him after his body was discovered on April 8.
Such a great amount of talent was lost but his legacy has forever lived on and I’m lucky enough to be affected by it. Kurt influenced and inspired a whole generation of people and as he said: “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” You haven’t and never will burn out because you’ve helped me (and others) to shine brighter than I ever could without you and I thank you for keeping me strong through the darkest of my days.
I hope you enjoyed reading my personal blog regarding my feelings for Kurt Cobain, keep reading for my next blog about Axl-Rose.
If you’ve never listened to Nirvana then you need to listen right now!